SHOULD I BUY THE WIFE A VIBRATOR?
Mon, Feb 28, 2011
Question by deliverence421:
should i acquire the wife a vibrator?
we`ve been married 14 yrs,i adore her ,i truly do.She adores it in most all positions but it`s slowed down heaps in the final 5 years,i enjoy to spoil her but she`s not a romantic,she`s provided us five astonishing and even that can modify how you feel about sex down there i know,i do each tiny thing i can to show her how attractive she nevertheless is to me.But i wonder occasionally due to the fact she`s so shy,do i give her sufficient and would a vibrator be a good issue or negative factor for our relationship,yes she comes even in multiple but it`s only when she wants to make love,Am i just a vessel.do most married couples male or female close their eyes when generating love right after fifteen years,no newly weds please.But make no mistake we do have enjoyable with each other and our youngsters mean the world to us.So basiclly what i`m asking is,will a vibrator divid us in the bedroom or open us each up,thanx
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Answer by WOLONGQLKM
Why???
You cannot satisfy her yourself ?
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Add your personal answer in the comments!
Yes, do it! Make sure you present it in a way that does not seem sarcastic. Let her think you just really want her to be happy.
ask her about it. even just the chat about sex toys may spice things up.
You’d probably have to ask her that question.
), try tying eachother up or something.
Some people like vibrators, and some wouldn’t touch them with a 10 foot pole.
But you know, if you’re worried about your sex life, chances are she is too.
Best way is probably to talk to her first, gauge where she is on the subject. Maybe her “eye closing” thing is fantasizing. Sometimes women like to do that during sex, cause it gets them going, you know?
But if she’s up to it, you could try food in the bedroom, sex in public places, sex toys (there’s some for guys too!
I wanted to add…sometimes, women need more in terms of foreplay than whats in the bedroom. Tell her how beautiful she is all the time, do unexpected things for her, cook her a romantic dinner, or hell, give her a striptease. I dont know a woman who would complain about one of those.
it will enhance your sexual relationship. if u are both comfortable with it. explore other things u can do to spice up your relationship. i have been married for 8yrs. and we are always trying to keep the fires burning with being parents to two wonderful kids
If she wants a vibrator, she’ll get one herself. If she doesn’t want sex with you, why do you think she’ll prefer a vibrator instead? I don’t get this. Look, you’ve been together 15 years. There is more to life than sex. Yes, it is important. But honestly mate, I don’t think a vibrator will make or break your marriage.
vibrators for the absense of a penis.. urs is still there so why need a vibrator..learn new tricks.. keeps it spiced up.. read a kamasutra.. get her into it also.. talk romanticly dirty..touch more in all places and be happy with what u are
ask her first. my wife loves hers.we been married 25 years!!! it makes up for me slowing down.the bible says not to deprive each other,and take care of your spouses sexual needs.if your ok,and she is ok great!!!!
I am 55 and personally think that if this will make you and your wife happy, then go for it. I know of a lot of people that use them and enjoy sex to the fullest. It is not a bad thing to think of these things, both men and women have changes in their bodies at certain ages, I know I have been through lots of them, and also tried vibrators. Go for it, have fun
First make sure it is something she is comforatble with and if she is buy some toys to spice up the sex life. It is a good addition.
So yeah a vibrator is a good choice, just not a dildo, she can get that on her own.
Talk to her about it…you do not want to offend her either. However, if she does not own one after that long she will find it to be the best gift she has been given. After 14 years of marriage I find that sometimes it just is not always worth the hassle of the sex if I was not being fullfilled. Then my husband and I had initiated toys to our world and it does make a difference. It can turn you both on. Give it a try..oh, and the eyes being closed ordeal-let it go. That is no big deal. It is just a comfort zone or maybe even to boost a fantasy. What ever it is it probably helps and I am sure she opens her eyes-it may just be if you are staring to see if she will. Just let it go and find new ways to make the sex fun and exciting again. It can be done.
If she will use it by all means get it for her.
take her to an “adult toy store” and look around with her. see what she may like. u can ask the store clerks about different things too. g/l
I think that you should find a way to take her out for a day and just spend some time together… Have some fun, and if you should end up near one of those… “Adult Boutiques”, then as a lark coax her to go in with you… see how she reacts and you will have your answer. She will either have no interest, or you might just peak her interest. My wife and I go to Victoria’s Secret together… and after one visit we ended up driving past this adult store… I was driving and I just pulled into the parking lot… my wife was surprised, then curious. We sat in the car for about 10 minutes before she got up the nerve to go in… we laughed, blushed a bit, but ended up picking up a few items… now that the door is open we shop on-line now and then… Good Luck.
Suggest it to her and see how she reacts…it can spice things up
I have one, it helped me not be so shy in the bedroom. Now I enjoy sex more and want it more often. And it doesn’t have to be in a sex shape, a simple back massager will also work and may introduce the ideal without being so blunt.
Was this your “best idea?” You might want to get a good book on the subject and study some!
i would say not, because that vibrator is way different then you, but it depends on things, I think my eyes always almost closed, just a reaction to the moment, unless I was on top, but then my husband’s eyes were closed, idk, she is probably tired, all you can do is bring it up in open conversation, when I was involved with my husband I wanted no substitutes, however feathers, whips, other things were always an option
My first thought was it should be a joint decisions or discussion as opposed to surprize honey look what I got. Surprizes are like jewelry, flowers, or love notes….not a glow in the dark dildo or porn dvds.
Then I realized that I had been purchased toys and it was fun. Since it is a test or starter kit, just get one of those pink pocket rocket things or rubber ducky toys so it is not more intimidating than say her sonicare toothbrush. I’d say a few glasses of wine and a bubble bath might be in order first. More orgasms cannot divide but failure to connect and communicate can.
As to your wife’s shy behavior, do you think she is that way because you cater to it? I had a long term relationship where sex was great but very traditional and frankly I was bored. And I came to find out the other person was too. It later came out that he had this belief I was a certain way and our interactions in the bedroom followed his expectations that I was the nice good girl even after 8 years of being together.
I think you have to talk about it while you are having sex. Let her know that you love having her and mix it up in the words a little before you introduce the idea and work up to getting it and bring it out while having sex. Basically don’t say it out of the blue and show it to her on a Monday morning before going to work.
Congratulations on the 14 years. Not to many couples seem to make it that long anymore. Your wife and I sound like we have a little in common, so maybe I can help ease your mind a bit. I to, am a little shy in the bedroom. I cannot stand to look my husband in the eyes during intercourse. I don’t know why but that just creeps me out. As a matter of fact, I would love to use a blindfold. I like being controlled rather than being in control. I think adding a blindfold would make it exciting to not know what is coming next. As I said before, I am a little shy when it comes to expressing what I want in the bedroom. But I did make the suggestion that my husband and I buy a vibrator together. A man tends to come to erection quicker than a woman. It could be that you are coming to erection just about the time she is getting started. I would suggest that you buy your wife a vibrator and you use the vibrator on her before you ever get started. Let her have an orgasm or two, then the two of you can finish off together. To spice things up a little bit, I would pop in a porn as well. Don’t ask her about it, because you might embarrass her. Just do it. You won’t have any regrets just excitement!
I would go fishing first to find out how she feels about vibrators . . . if she’s really shy this could cause a big riffle between u . . . if she’s open to it then by all means get her one but don’t go crazy with the first one, nice normal size without alot of bells and whistles, maybe just a little vibration and don’t expect her to use it in front of u for awhile . . . u may can use it on her but she will not let u watch her for a couple of months . . . let her get comfortable with it 1st . . . . it took me about 6mths b4 I felt good about it . . . now we joke over it . . for your info I have been married 37yrs
buy her one and help her use it!